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[Nick]

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Invaders came from the Adriatic
destroyed the palace at Pylos
and
wreaked
general havoc
about the area

Only Athens stayed safe

Big walls

The Mycenaeans Age went down
for the count

Some of the interlopers were
Greek hill tribesmen
Dorians

They stayed

Later joined by others

Today
we know this group as
Spartans

Took a few beatin's
as they got their thing
together

Finally decided
"We're just gonna be fighters

Some folks are gonna make
our gear
others
our food
and we
are gonna
train"

One of their guys
went travelin'
came back with
what works
in warring

Then they
refined it

You may know
some of the rest

The 300
Thermopylae

Peloponnesian War
(which they fought against Athens)



So time goes on
and
here we are
Thirty Two Centuries
later

Invaded Iraq
fighting in Afghanistan


So what's new?

[Nick]

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Hey. The person tense changes.

Yeah. Just saw it. Will get on it after I return from the range.

The Range? You're not goin' shootin' again, are ya?! You were just there last night.

So who keeps track?
My wife has made a wonderful breakfast that I am currently consuming while wearing clean clothes that were washed by her during the work week. She has returned to her well earned weekend rest. There is no need for me at the shack. And at the range I learn things from people who enjoy sharing their wealth of 3D experience. Things I bring to the responsibility of keeping the peace at the home, man.

It's all good.

[Nick]

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invaders came from the Adriatic
destroyed the palace at Pylos
and
wreaked
general havoc
about the area

Only Athens stayed safe

Big walls

The Mycenaeans Age went down
for the count

Some of the interlopers were
Greek hill tribesmen
Dorians

They stayed

Later joined by others

Today
we know this group as
Spartans

Took a few beatin's
as they got their thing
together

Finally decided
"We're just gonna be fighters

Some folks are gonna make
our gear
others
our food
and we
are gonna
train"

One of their guys
went travelin'
came back with
what works
in warring

Then they
refined it

You may know
some of the rest

The 300
Thermopylae

Peloponnesian War
(which they fought against Athens)



So time goes on
and
here we are
Twenty One Centuries
later

Invaded Iraq
fighting in Afghanistan


So what's new?

[Nick]

Tweet

Okay, o.k.
Seein' how you dealt with the person change.
Uhh, noticed how the Spartan life style seems similar with yours. Meaning you don't get the food or clothing. Looks like you spend as much time as you can training.


Might be a coincidence.

[Nick]

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You do know your 21 Centuries arithmetic is off, right?


Math ain't my friend.

[Nick]

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So what is missing from this scene description?

Oh. Are you referring to the Eleven Element formula?
1. Touch
2. Taste
3. Smell
4. Sight
5. Sound
6. Time
7. Place
8. Light
9. Character
10.POV
11.Purpose



Yeah.

[Nick]

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One is Time, 1200BC and 21 Centuries later
Two is Place, vague, palace at Pylos, Athens helps
Three is Purpose, end question of what is new, social commentary
Four is POV, two persons, differentiated with quote marks

Need seven more elements identified, dude.

[Jenifer]

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Nick,

What strikes me is that this poem reads a lot like a text book... which I could get from a text book. 

Know what I'm saying?

Jen

[Nick]

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Yeah, I thought it was a history lesson retold in a relaxed lingo with a bit of philosophical query in the last line so I posted it in Nonfiction.

Cobbed the info together from library books as I was reading about Sparta. Did you know they were ruled by two kings at the same time? How interesting policy direction resolution must have been, eh?

Kind of you to term it a poem.

Thanks. 

[Nick]

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Hey. The person tense changes.

Okay. Resolved it with quote marks. Maybe.

[Nick]

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You do know your 21 Centuries arithmetic is off, right?


Math ain't my friend.

Okay, lets cipher this

1200bc
2011ad
32centuries since the Dorians came a callin'?

[Jenifer]

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Well if it walks like a duck...