He was abed alone. Nice room. Had his gear in it. He was runnin' a kingdom. Got the job by force of arms (democratic vote hadn't been invented yet).
So he gets up in the early AM and starts puttin' on his party togs. Chain mail shirt, greaves, forearm guards. He don't ask himself why he feels right doin' it. He just does it. Primal Type of guy. Responding to instincts/feelings has helped him out before. He's buckling his sword belt when the door bursts in. Guests have arrived. Seems they have their own idea of who gets to be King today. However, instead of ambushing a drowsy monarch they have jumped into the pen of a fully aroused tiger. Problem. For them.
So here it is, 3:30 AM. I've shaved, flossed and brushed the flesh rippers, tugged britches over bloomers and stepped out onto the front porch to survey my realm (two sheds, a pickup and the wife's car). Mind you, I have my back to the front door (for hasty retreat purposes) and my starboard hand is massaging the grips of a freshly cleaned, lubed and loaded 1911 (yeah, condition one) that has its snout snuggled in the rear pocket of some 501s.
Hmmm, nice night-errr- morning.
Don't see any malcontents skulking about on the one lane dirt alley that serves as the road past my place.
Go back in. See movement on the hallway wall darkness (aww c'mon, surely you know not to step out into the were light from a fully lit space). Door shut, lights on. Ah Ha! A big as a thumb palmetto bug. Fix him with a glance and slowly step off for the happy spray. No, it won't make him/her[?] happy, it will make me happy 'cause my wife won't have to deal with this critter runnin' around and flyin' about in the bedroom.
Spray, spray (me). Run, run (him/her). Spray (me). Try to fly (him/her). Spray. Flutter. Drop dead.
At the keyboard (.45 caliber paper puncher layin' alongside) see a roach at 000 degrees (that means directly ahead/it's a relative bearing) on the counter sidewall. Short shot of spray. Another contender for this domain neutralized.
Looks like the competition is outgunned for now.
Think I will make breakfast and put on some socks.
