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[Courier]

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Wrote it a while ago, and I feel something's missing. An experiment, and yes, purposely with lack of punctuation.

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Grandpapa said life is a rollercoaster but its rides are making me sick and my stomach is heaving, heaving and I’m wondering when the sun will stop burning my eyelids and I’m scared because Grandpapa’s speaking in Vietnamese again and gobbledegook isn’t my mother-tongue so it makes me confused

and my brother isn’t watching where he’s going so he falls into the pond and screams, screams because he’s a scaredy-cat and the water is burning his throat and mother is telling me not to stare and father is rubbing my thigh and it makes me feel so, so uncomfortable that I just want to fall off the world

and I want to eat but I’m not hungry and I’m wondering when father will kill me, like he says he will, soon, and he says I’ll be going to hell soon because I’ve been a bad, bad boy and didn’t listen to him because I was looking at the flowers and seeing how so lonely, lonely, lonely they look so together yet so apart

but I love the way my sister puts her arms around me even though I know they are real thin and mother says she’s goin’ to die soon because she isn’t eating but she looks pretty with hair the colour of the wind drawn back on her head but her eyes scare me because they are speaking a language I don’t understand to a tree past my shoulder

and I’m wondering why mother’s put makeup on her arms and it’s supposed to go on your face and I see rings underneath that look a bit like the circles I wake up with around my eyes that are the colour of the sky when its losing its light

and I know that Grandpapa and mother and father can see me when I’m looking over at the girl by the fence with hair like seaweed and the crippled body that’s looking up at the big, blue bowl but I don’t care but my calves still hurt from where I tried to peel off my skin with father’s letter-opener because a boy in my class said that yellow skin is ugly but that doesn’t matter because she walks like a broken doll with a face trampled by boots and yet

she’s smiling.

[Nick]

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commas are punctuation
so are those comma lookin' things up above letters
figger you mean you wrote it without some capitols
works for me
like the flow
4th stanza    "she's goin' to die soon"   seems "going" would occur here
next stanza  suggest you examine the message structure   info is somewhat out of position, I think

Keep Writing and Welcome to the Page, Courier

[Courier]

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Yes, a better word would have been 'scarce.'

Yeah, the fifth stanza is muddled. I'm so used to reading it fast, like a never-ending flow of thoughts, that I didn't pause to think how it could be read.

Thanks for the comments.

[Tobacco]

crybaby me a>
bla't blah it quack. quack. blah is bla quack to blub blub blah it is to blub quack. bla't bla blah blah bla crybaby me nt, bla blub blah he's blah crybaby me  quack, blah bla crybaby me phs blah if blah bla quack blub. I blub crybaby me ng blah blah blah, no quack quack, bla if blah is to blah, blah in a blub bla, it crybaby me 't crybaby me  so blah blub bla, blub blah of bla Is. A crybaby me  blah bla blah blub crybaby me s blub on bla blah bla bla it blub bla quack bla crybaby me r is a crybaby me  crybaby me r bla, blub crybaby me ay, blah's blah blah quack, quack blah blah crybaby me tions. An crybaby me ent, blah, blub't blah blah blah, go on to crybaby me ng blah.

blah blah crybaby me  or quack?

[Courier]

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Thank you. And yes, I'm going to scrap this.

You know my gender.

Ah, right, the username. This is Wess.