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LiteraryMaryWriting and Random Creativity Workshops Fiction, Flash Fiction and ProsePremise and Character studies for The Search: White Knight of Cove Springs
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Author Topic: Premise and Character studies for The Search: White Knight of Cove Springs  (Read 249 times)
G.K.Fralin
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« on: August 28, 2011, 12:22:15 AM »


Fantasy: family friendly  The tie in to the orignial The Search: Lunis Flower of Hidden in the collection. Sheridan Easterly MC of first book, is the aunt of Cheyanne. The misspelling of the name is intentional, I may change that, but would rather not as the story idea was developed with the help of my granddaughter Cheyanne.

Premise: A seventeen year old girl finds herself in a wilderness with a white stallion that lives in a cave. The stallion is wild but has a keen sense of injury and difficulty that causes him to use an healing relationship. The girl must find her way out. There is a path back to the trail to Cove Springs, but it's difficult to find. A traumatized young man may, or may not help her rescue.


Girl, 17, Cheyanne Bulger.  
Wakes up and parents are gone, her mother’s aunt who raised her mother is in the hospital very sick according to note on message board, lives outside of town, drives rusty old ford pickup passed down by her father.

Family farm, hogs and goats, and flax; Parents raise large garden, make linen, gyro meat, and goat cheese. Last name Bulger. They have two cows. One for milking and one is bred by neighbors bull so they can raise calf for butcher. Also raise corn and potatoes. Mother keeps large garden. Farm runs on seasons like spring litters from sows, and ewes, flax harvest and flax combing, grinding flax seed for oil. Garden harvest and canning, planting corn and potatoes, potato harvest, corn harvest, winter spinning linen thread and weaving cloth.

Dark shoulder length hair, a bit chunky but very pretty and well proportioned figure. Height 5’5” offsets slight extra weight. Actually makes her quite attractive and healthy. Great smile,
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Best Friend Marcia Miller lives in town. Mother is very amiable and knows both girls are normally trustworthy. Marcia is 5’1” tall, weighs 100 pounds with very thin figure and is very into sports and hiking as is Cheyanne. Marcia is a little bit silly at times, but very resourceful and capable of handling things others would shrink away and scream. One of the attraction points between the girls as they are both avid hikers and campers.

Hair dishwater blond, eyes green, long thin fingers will help her later with getting into a spot that Cheyanne’s larger hands won’t. Plays harmonica to Cheyanne’s tambourine. Mrs. Miller teases they are rebirth of the hippy movement of the sixties. Even the clothes they wear such as head bands and short shorts.
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Mrs. Miller: Marcia’s mother, 5’4” , divorced, Christian, was a young mother, nurse, goes to church when she can, confident in Marcia’s morals and salvation, worries about Marcia being taken advantage of like she was, thankful for Marcia’s maturity though she doesn’t always act it and loves to be silly, has dated once or twice unsuccessfully, admires Marcia’s ability to stand up for herself, loves to sing around the house


Cheyanne’s parents

Marie and Anthony Bulger
Anthony is a farmer, his wife Marie helps with their unusual business of farming flax, making linen and flax seed oil. They also raise pigs and goats which they grind and make into a gyro meat mix and smoke with hickory, infused with saline and broth, and can in an aspic for later use in sandwich meat sales at farmers markets. They grow huge gardens of cabbage, onions, tomatoes cucumbers and whatever else they feel they need for the year and market, they also raise corn for feeding hogs and goats mixed with protein pellets
They have gone to Omaha hospital to be with her mother’s sister Sheridan Easterly who is in a coma after a bad accident.


Jeremiah Wade: Classmate, once very outgoing, became very introspective and forlorn after an experience in the wilds the year before. Was lost for a month and was found a little dehydrated, but in otherwise good condition except for a newly healed scar on his left cheek. He spoke of a white stallion that lived in one of the caves and protected him from animals. He also spoke of an odd group of people who lived in the wilds. He was treated for mental stress and exhaustion but still had a lot of problems. It didn’t help that he was taunted by kids who were once his best friends. He keeps a secret from everyone and that is, his father is the very poacher that threw him into the wilds. Jeremiah was sickened by what his father did and threatened to call the sheriff is his father didn’t promise to stop hunting in Cave Springs. Jeremiah never expected to be thrown off of a cliff by his own father. His idle threat almost cost him his life, and his silence may now cost either Cheyanne and Marcia or both serious damage and or death. He will be the one who leads them out after they have made the same discoveries that he did. They all three will make a pact not to mention the horse or occupants of the wilds to anyone ever again. The biggest danger being others would try to get to them and ruin their secret and solitude that lasted for centuries as an unknown tribe.


Bad guys Harv: the big sun bleached blond, and Carver the not so smart sidekick that Harv accidentally kills Carver. Poachers that run into the two girls, Harv is the one who makes them jump off the cliff into the wilds below. Harv. Is Wade’s father who has abused him except when he’s absent from Jeremiah’s life. Harv forced him to jump off the cliff the year before.

Jeremiah is highly intelligent. He kind of hid that part of himself from other kids for years because he wanted to be popular and was. He was part of the football team, and basketball, he ran in track.

After his experience in the Wild he turned inside. He spent time in a state facility because of trauma and exhaustion. He came out somewhat better, but still had moments and avoided relationships. He was once a close friend of Cheyanne and she has tried to be there for him when he will let her. He is dark, exceptionally long lashes and beautiful brown eyes for a boy, but it every bit masculine. He has been a heartthrob to girls and even after all his trouble a lot of girls still pursue him. When he is in one of his better moods he can be very flirtatious. Can be stubborn, likes the outdoors but has avoided Cave Springs since his fall. He is guarding a secret about the Wilds and some of his stories about his experience there have been to keep people from trying to go into them.


I haven't worried about grammar or spelling so much as this is story development. I'm very open to suggestion and  critique.
« Last Edit: August 28, 2011, 12:26:00 AM by G.K.Fralin » Logged

 
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« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2011, 01:26:19 PM »


Hi G.K. I've been lurking around here since the joint turned blue but hardly anything gets posted that I'm competent to critique. So I thought maybe I'd give this a whirl. What really strikes me is that the plot synopsis is really thin. Or non-exostant; I guess you call it a premise. That's fine I suppose but it leaves people with nothing to critique. Seems to me the characters and setting are adequate to carry a story, but until you have the story, maybe that's always the case. I'm surprised that people don't post more elaborate plot ideas for it seems to me that this is the place where synergy and inspiration would be at their prime.

In this kind of story I think a weak point is usually the introduction of the fantasy elements. Are you intending it to be clearly fantasy from the start? Or will you lead your reader into it from the gyro meat/linen ranch. (I love this part but it could turn out to be off topic to the story. Justifying it realistically might make a delightful fantasy in itself.) In your brief presentation Cheyanne might be coming off a bit too victimy for my taste. pp
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