Jenifer: Hello Jeff. I start all my Ping Pongs the same way.
Full name, age, location, social security number, bank account number
and could you please sign this blank check for me?
Jeff: Full Name: Jeffrey Lewis Fleming
Age: 39
Location: Oakland, CA
Soc: 459-86-9078
Bank Account: um, I think there's a 4 or a 3 in it somewhere
Yes, I will sign that blank check, but it WILL bounce.
And you? Name, Age, Location, Bust Size, Tattoos (how many and where), Weird Sexual Fetishes? Jenifer: Name: Jenifer Kathleen Wills
Age: 35
Location: Portland, OR
Bust Size: 36 D yes, D
Tattoos: One, on my right arm.
Weird Sexual Fetishes: Yes.
How in the world did you find LiteraryMary?
Jeff: Umm...lessee...I believe that...shit. Not sure how I found LM...I wanna say it was either justin.barrett or Father Luke, but I'm not sure. One thing I know for sure, my memory is pretty random. I used to think it was bad, but I can remember a lot of weird useless shit from a long time ago.
To be honest, I came to Literary Mary at first because I heard about the magazine and wanted to be in it. (I missed the cut off by one day.) I wasn't really looking for a poetry/writing forum because I was already in two or three others. But after cruising Mary for an hour or so, I could see just how feeble the others were and I dropped them in a heart beat. Mary was the only girl for me.
I understand you have kids. Can you give me a run down of ages, names and personalities/temperaments that make them unique from each other?
Jenifer: My guess would be
Father Luke. But well, maybe
justin.barrett. justin is such a nice guy, isn't he?
We'll be re-opening for
submissions in early June. I hope you've saved up some good stuff for us. I'm really fucking excited about issue two.
Yah, I've got some kids. I have four. My oldest, Ward, is eleven. He's a really cool kid. He's laid back and funny. He is interested in stuff like skateboarding and gaming. He plays World of Warcraft. He's really smart. Then I have a seven year old, Carter. I wrote a poem about him recently. He's quiet and sweet and full of about a million questions. I also have two year old twins, Jack and Lola. Lola is sweet and easy and girlish and just sort of flounces through the day making everyone happy. She has a sassy side, though. Jack is sweet sweet sweet, but more prone to whining than she is. He sucks his thumb and carries around a cloth diaper like a security blanket. He calls it his 'buddy'. All my kids are freakishly into Daft Punk right now. They call it 'Robot'. 'Moooommmmmm, can we listen to Robot?' It's funny. They're funny.
How about you?
Married?
Kids?
How long have you been doing
Nibble? It's always such a beautiful publication. What is your process, if I may ask?
Jeff: Alice and I were married in 2001, but we've been together since '95. We have two boys. Cameron is six, very athletic and driven, hates to lose at anything. Very like me in both looks and temperament. He recently did a walk-a-thon for his school and he went over 12 miles. He is great at math and loves to read. They both love books, though Henry (age 4) isn't reading yet. Henry is an amazing soul. He is the sweetest, cuddliest little guy. Henry is the nicest person I have ever known. His teachers all love him and he is friends with everyone at his pre-school (about 35 kids). When he walks into school in the morning, everyone turns and yells "HENRY." It's like the show Cheers, only set in a preschool. My son is Norm.
April 2009 - nibblepoems aka Jeff vs. Jenifer
I could go on about them forever, but I have probably bored the crap out of everyone already, so I'll stop.
nibble. My other child, my love, my agony.
(Thank you for saying it is beautiful. I love to hear that.)
I have been nibbling for nearly a year. I published two other poetry mags (first CannedPhlegm and then later Cranial Tempest), back in the 90's and into 2002. In December of '02, I shut down Cranial Tempest, quit my day job and became a stay-at-home dad. I didn't even really write poetry for about five years. Last year a friend of mine was joking that I should start a poetry magazine again so that I could publish her poems. I laughed about that at first, but then the idea of starting it up again really took hold. The planning process began in March or April and we put out our first issue on July 14th.
I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Christopher Cunningham. When contacting all the names on my 6 year-old mailing list, CC really came through, posting info on his own blog, sending emails to fellow poets and getting info up on the Guerrilla Poetics Project website. We had a surprising number of submissions in that first few weeks. Back when I started CannedPhlegm, the first few issues were filled with mostly my own poetry and that of my friends.
What is my process? Geez. I wait for people to send me poetry, I read it and publish what I like. I try not to make them wait long. That's the part of being a poet that really bugs me, when a publisher says they need 6 weeks or 3 months to reply to a submission. For email, I can't see why it should take more than two weeks. Snailmail is a little longer, but really 3 months? I think that's nuts.
You wrote that you are "fucking excited about issue two." How was your experience on issue one? Was that your first time publishing a magazine (well, a book really)? It was far greater in scope than anything I've ever done, was it daunting at all? So big, so impressive. A really great mag. Jenifer: I know what you mean about not writing about your kids. I've said I don't write about mine because I cannot do my feelings for them justice, that I don't want to cheapen that love by writing about it badly. But, like you, they sneak their way in.
I'm curious about the actual process of making nibble also. I mean, what is the printing process? The quality is so high, so beautiful. Do you send them out for print? Do you do each one by hand?
IfI'm being too pokey, let me know. But I am just curious as to what everyone else goes through.
Doing the journal was daunting, yes. I mean, first it was slow going with submissions. Then when we went up on
duotrope, we got flooded. I was completely unprepared. I was up until two o'clock all summer reading submissions. We were so fortunate to receive so much quality, and to be embraced as we were by the small press. I owe a lot of the support we got to Father Luke. After his name was associated with it, it seemed like the rest of the small press said ahhhhhh okay. I learned a lot doing the first issue. I went into it blind, without any idea what I was doing. That shows a lot, to me. But I also know exactly what to expect going into it this time, which is why I am so excited. I lost funding in the middle of it, lost my layout person. It was fucked, but in a way, it was good because it made me do
it. I had a lot of really excellent help too.
Andrew McDonald read all our fiction. That is a daunting task in itself. He's an exceptionally talented writer and a great person. Many of the members of staff, Such as
lostpoem and
Serendipitate volunteered to proof read. Hopefully they will be back, and fully credited for issue two. Father Luke bailed us out financially. I plan to pull a lot more people aboard this time. Just knowing how many I will need is something I had no idea of starting the first one. I think this time around we'll publish people who are actually working on it too, such as myself Toot. Toot.
I agree with you about how long it takes to respond to submissions. I mean, I was doing all the responses myself and I was still able to respond within a reasonable amount of time. I think sometimes people get a little big for their britches, or who knows, maybe they're receiving billions of submissions.
Hey, congratulations on winning the Nooberama. Are you going to Disneyland? Are you excited about running the next one?
Do you secretly think Hugh Grant is hot?
Jeff: Yeah, kids. I had this cartoon on the fridge for years: two adults on the couch, three little ones crawling, walking around, the caption reads: "We baby-proofed the house, but they got in anyway."
Are you being too pokey? No, happy to talk about anything you want, I only wish that the process of making nibble was more interesting, more sexy. Perhaps I send the master copy off to aliens in a parallel dimension? Or little poetry elves come in the night and make nibble all pretty?
The truth is I lay the poems out in Microsoft Word and print the mag on a laser printer. I have a side saddle stapler (which I LOVE). I sit at the dining room table folding and stapling while Cameron does his homework and Henry does art. This has had the wonderful affect of inspiring the kids to create their own books that Dad then staples for them. Cameron is currently writing a joke book that he wants to sell to his friends. I'll let everyone on LM know when it's ready!
Wow, what's it like to be flooded with submissions? Mine usually come in a steady trickle, which I ignore until there are enough that I feel a little stressed and compelled to take care of. Up till 2am? I'm lucky if I make it past 11pm, but I'm up at 6am every morning (except Saturdays).
Yes, the Nooberama was a huge win! So exciting. Disneyland? Not unless there is a cash prize that I have yet to receive. I might go to the corner store and get myself a 40 ouncer of Mickey's, but that would be about it for the celebrating.
Am I excited about running the next one? Sorta. I told Alice that I had won and she asked me what, exactly, I had won. I get to run the next contest. Her reply? "Sounds more like a punishment to me." To which I said, thoughtfully, "Yeah, it kinda does."
Hugh Grant? Well, my feelings about Hugh Grant have never really been a secret, I mean, what's not to love. On the big screen he is the kind of guy I wish I was: handsome, charming in a self-deprecating sort of way, and he always gets the beautiful girl without having to resort to a bunch of macho bullshit. Loved him in About a Boy and Love Actually, that one with Julia Roberts, and Sense and Sensibility, and Four Weddings and a Funeral. Who wouldn't want to be the dashing, handsome PM who dances alone at 10 Downing Street to music in his own head?
And in real life? Elizabeth Hurley and blow jobs in the car park? Sweet.
Okay Jen, three things that are on your mind right this second? Big or little, doesn't matter.
And: you recently wrote in a poem, "I haven't had contact with a cock in months." Is this true and if so, why? Is it by choice or are you changing teams?Jenifer: Microsoft Word huh? That stuns me, truthfully. All I know is that I've been in love with that pristine little journal ever since I received my first copy. You do nice work. I think it's awesome that your kids are sitting there with you at the dinner table working on it too. I really hope you don't let them read my poems.
Being flooded with submissions is cool until the person who pledged to do layout for you and give you funding walks out on the entire venture. Then it gets a little panicky. It's all good though. Now I know what to expect. It's like being raped by knowledge. I got it whether I wanted it or not. Well, I guess the overall effect of this was good though and not years of therapy.
I'm laughing at you saying running the Noob is a punishment. I did it one year. It's actually pretty fun if you have the time. When you're pinched for time it's a little like getting raped by knowledge. I didn't win it though, I had to pick it up for someone who wouldn't do it, so thanks for doing it. The nice thing about the Noob is that you can do it at your own pace.
Three things that are on my mind right now... well... I will say there is something which is taking up almost all my thought process. If my brain were a CPU it would be almost maxed out by this once process and processing the pain that goes along with it. I cannot be more specific than that really. It's very personal and it's very painful and my stomach feels as though someone has tied double knots in it. Second to that is ordering books for next term so I can get them delivered by the time spring break is over, and also what I can do with the kids over spring break that will be both fun and inexpensive.
My mind... never stops moving. Do you ever want to ask your mind to just stop thinking for a bit?
The 'I haven't had contact with a cock in months' line... I didn't realize that would come back to bite me so soon... Well, in truth - which may be edited out later... (marriage - Twelve years - first five - only two kids - all set - pregnant again - twins - keeping the babies - didn't have the - gone back to school - therapy - more 'assertive' - financial freedom - fell in love - The cock - pain - edited out )…But I thought maybe you would like an honest answer to your questions. I am definitely heterosexual. I figured that out a long time ago.
And you? What are the three things on your mind? Right now?
What are the five most important things in your life?
Give me a list of your ten favorite writers?
Jeff: First, in response to the bit that will be edited out, thank you for the honesty. I know you don't know me that well, but I'm a good listener...
Ok, back to the pingypong.
You're in love with nibble? Wow. That is awesome.
(I'm on a one man mission to steal back the word awesome so it doesn't conjure up images of stoned surfer dudes)
Thank you over and over for your kind words, Jen. Means a ton to me. And, no, my kids don't get to read nibble. Not yet.
Sorry to hear that there is some major shit on your lunch tray right now. To have your tummy tied 24/7 is a brutal state to be in. Hope you have some closure on that soon. I have been there and just hearing the vague fuzzy non-details sorta takes me back. I don't feel your pain, but I feel my old pain through your words.
Three things on my mind right now:
1. The latest nibble idea, sending out a blank issue and letting people hand write poems and draw a cover. Just mailed out volume one and volume two today. At some point a partially filled nibble will show up at your house, Jen. I'm pretty excited about this.
2. A poem I wrote on Thursday called The Homeless Couple Has a Barbecue. Usually, I write a poem and don't look at it for a week or so, but this one brought me back after only a day. I'm on the third revision.
3. Wii - Alice and I found ourselves with enough $$ in Amazon gift certificates to finance this extravagance. My kids are playing Wii bowling about six feet from where I type this, having a freakin' ball on a rainy Saturday.
Actually, that's bullshit. Right now, I'm chatting online with Leah Angstman from Propaganda Press. So number one is probably really the chap of my poetry she's putting out soon. We're just nailing down the final details. (leah is a force of nature, she does so much for the small press.) Number two is wishing Alice wasn't sick so we could have sex tonight. I guess the Wii thing really is number three, since the kids are basically right next to me.
Five most important things in my life:
1. Alice, Cameron and Henry (listed alphabetically to avoid any sign of bias)
2. Susan (my sister)
3. Running
4. Writing poetry
5. Books, paper, pens, bookstores
Ten favorite writers? Shit, I didn't know this ping-pong thing was going to be hard! I'm going to do "10 Most Important/Influential Writers."
Ok, here goes, in order of when they first influenced me:
1. Dr. Seuss (need I explain?)
2. Stephen King (first author I really fell in love with)
3. Ernest Hemingway (taught me that Stephen King was not the pinnacle of fiction)
4. Edgar Allen Poe (taught me that is was ok to write disturbing shit)
5. Billy Collins (showed me that my poetry was really poetry despite the stuff they taught me in high school)
6. William Carlos Williamson (this is just to say...)
7. Emily Dickinson (short poems)
8. Shakespeare (once i found a teacher who knew how to teach it)
9. Walt Whitman (leaves of grass)
10. Raymond Carver
Ok, back to you: five things in life you could do without? Five things you cannot do without?
Cock you would most like to "contact?" Person could be famous or not, living or not (we'll just assume you traveled back in time and they were alive at the time).
Jenifer: Yes, I am in love with nibble. I loved the last one I got very much. Then a friend of mine tried to thieve it. I accidentally left it at her house, and I asked for the copy and she was all, 'Oh, I thought you were giving it to me,' all cold like that. Anyway, I got it back... but maybe I'll order her one and get her hooked too.
Oh! Oh! I'm so excited about the hand written nibble you are doing! Yay! I cannot wait to be a part of that! Can you tell the people reading this more about what's going on with that? I think it's such a cool idea.
I have a Wii also. It's a lot of fun. I like to play Animal Crossing. It's been my favorite game forever. But I also love the Sims. But Animal Crossing wins. You should get it for your kids if you haven't already. I can kick your ass at bowling, by the way. My kids laugh at me because I do this weird like kick thing with my back leg when I throw the ball. I would agree though, sex is better than Wii. Leah comes in behind sex for me and maybe marginally behind Wii, depending on the game.
Laughing. No, Leah is a very nice woman. She's been very kind to me. Tell her I say hello.
Okay, five things in life I could do without:
5. Confrontation. I hate it in any way, shape or form. It ties my stomach in knots. I have to take therapy to learn to be more assertive.
4. Homework. Why isn't the time we spend in school enough? Or how about a reasonable amount? I am so tired of spending full weekends doing homework!
3. Poverty. I hate being poor poor poor enough to worry about paying the electricity bill. I don't need to be rich. That's not what I'm saying. I'd just like to have enough.
2. Disney anything. I hate the Disney channel. I hate their weird Stepford Wives for Kids mentality. I hate the way they sell children. I hate the way they destroy peoples' lives. I pretty much hate everything they stand for.
1. Media created negative body image messages. I could go on about this for a long time, but basically from the time we open our eyes we are being bombarded with messages from the media about how we are not good enough. This is more so true for women but men are catching up to us at a steady pace. I realize that we make the media, and I think it's our responsibility to change the media.
Five things in life I cannot do without:
5. Running. I have anxiety and depression issues. When things are getting bad, it feels very good for me to run. And also, it keeps the bad things away when I'm consistent about it.
4. Books. I am an avid reader. I am always reading something. I will read anything, just so long as it catches my attention. I get a lot of fiction from my sister. She turned me on to the Twilight series and the Southern Vampire novels. I'm usually reading things assigned for school, so when I'm not reading something very heavy I like to read something a bit naughty by lit crit standards. I love Stephen King also. I came of age reading him. One of my favorite novels to this day is The Shining.
3. Education. I love to learn. My mind enjoys being challenged. I love to think about things that are hard for me to grasp. I love the feeling of grasping a new concept.
2. Love. I guess this is something that everyone needs, but lately I feel as though I have not been getting enough of it. My hair is falling out. I think I'm wilting.
1. My children, my best friend Lans, my sister Michelle and Father Luke. (I get to lump those I love severely into one category?) Without them, I would be dead by now. Don't tell them that though. That's an incredible amount of pressure.
Cock I would most like to contact? Gosh, I feel as though I could easily waste this. Thinking...
Okay, I think, like if I could have a day to spend with someone I would pick Einstein. Then I would use the time to have him teach me, very patiently, everything he could. I am very interested in science. I think it just takes a special sort of teacher for me to understand what I am capable of understanding. I think if I had a very very good teacher I could learn some things that would blow my mind. As I've mentioned, I like to have my mind blown. I love that feeling of encountering the sublime.
Okay now that I sound like a total dork.
Who are your favorite poets?
What got you started writing poetry? I mean, how does a young American male get turned on to the world of poetry?
What sorts of music do you like?
Are you a computer nerd?
How many tattoos do you have? What are they?
Jeff: Favorite Poets? You left that wide open... Right now, Raymond Carver. His collected works is on my bedside table next to The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry and about seven or eight books from Propaganda Press and a copy of Skidding Through the Mud Incognito.
What got me started writing poetry? Not sure. Loneliness? Sadness? Anger? Adolescent angst? I hadn't really read any poetry when I started, it just felt good to put words on paper. Then my parents bought me an electric typewriter for Christmas one year and I just started banging out mad amounts of poetry without really having any idea what I was doing. I was just putting my feelings on paper. Other than the poetry they force you to read in school, I didn't start reading poetry until college.
What sort of music do I like? Yes. That's the short answer. Name a genre and I can probably give you an artist, or at least a couple songs, that I dig (except maybe Jazz and R&B). I love i-tunes and never miss the free downloads they offer on Tuesdays. I can usually find at least one that I like. I also dig through the CDs at the local library. Last week I found albums from Weezer, Amy Winehouse and Vampire Weekend. Love that free music!
Right now, I am listening to Master of Puppets by Metallica. At Last by Etta James played before that. And before that was What? by A Tribe Called Quest. Coldplay, Green Day, blah, blah, blah.
Most of the songs in my i-tunes library are labeled "Alternative." I have tons of music from the 80's and 90's. There is a big gap in my music library from the time my first son was born until about two years ago, '02 to '06, I guess. So if I missed anything vital from those years, let me know!
Am I a computer nerd? No. I love them and hate them. I'm on two of them right now. Listening to music on the Mac and surfing the internet on the PC. All the family photos and videos are on the Mac. I used to play computer games, but once the kids came along...
Tattoos? Three.
One on my right arm, top of my bicep. A stylized sun.
One just below my ribs on the right side. The Eye of Horus. When I was born, I had an eye shaped birthmark/stork bite in the same spot. It slowly faded and was gone by the time I was six or so. I still have vague memories of it. I have always been fascinated with Ancient Egypt and getting that tattoo just made sense.
My third, newest and favorite tattoo is on my left arm. What some people call a quarter sleeve. It combines my parents' birth signs: Aquarius for my mom and Pisces for my dad. It shows a winged water carrier pouring from a large urn creating a pool where two koi swim in a circle, a yin-yang shape. The woman who did that for me is a true artist. I marvel at it still, more than two years later.
April 2009 - nibblepoems aka Jeff vs. Jenifer
Jenifer: You have my book on your bedside table? Awww man.
It's funny. I started writing poems before I started reading much of anything either. In high school, everything they give you to read is so dry, it's a wonder any kid starts writing poems at that age ever. I remember a guy giving me my first book of Bukowski when I was about 16. I was like, whoa. I would read some of the poems and feel sheepish, like people would know what I was reading. I felt like I
should hide the cover of the book or something. laughing.
My music tastes are equally as eclectic as yours.
Do you plan on getting more tattoos? Does your wife dig them? Does she have any?
Are you guys like... the couple that fits right in with the other parents at the playground? How do you feel about being a parent? Was it what you expected? You allude to some lost writing years. I have those too, actually. Were those from becoming a father or from something else? I know you say you don't normally talk about your kids, but it's always interesting for me to meet another parent who
writes, so bear with me okay?
My running regimen lately is sparse. I run mostly on Saturdays and Sundays now because they are the only mornings I have time. The rest of the week, I'm up early and out the door getting the kids to school and then me to school. Usually on those days, I'll do some cardio kick boxing or something similar in the house where I can keep an eye on the chilluns. If I cannot run, any sort of exercise will suffice to
keep my head clear. As for running? I love it the best because it's so free, you know? I am definitely a lace' em up and go sort of girl. The less trappings the better. Except it is essential to me that I have my Ipod. I cannot run without music. Lately it's been all about the Daft Punk Alive. It's so good to run to. But I also enjoy running to loud 'alternative', the Pixies, the Strokes etc. or hip hop. I love Jay Z and I love Eve. Like I said, my music tastes are eclectic.
Recommend some places for me to submit to besides nibble. I'm doing submissions over spring break. What other small press journals or zines do you read? Tell me some about alternating current. I'm a little confused about what Leah has going on over there.
Jeff: First, I can't believe I completely wiffed on you asking about the latest from nibble! You asked about the handwritten issue.
Basically, we will mail a blank issue to the first poet on a list of volunteers, they would write a poem and then mail it to the next poet and so on until it was full and then they would mail it back to us. We would then copy it and mail one to each participant. We figured we would need about 20 poets to do this right.
We figured on about 20 poets to fill the issue. We got 40 in just a few hours and 50 within a day of the announcement, so we're doing two volumes with 50 poets total. I'm pretty damn excited to see how this turns out! We have some great poets lined up: Jenifer Wills, Father Luke, Christopher Cunningham, justin.barrett, Hosho McCreesh and on and on. Plus, the cover is also blank, so I imagine someone will fix that somewhere along the line. This thing will have some serious frequent flyer miles. Two trips to Australia, one to Germany and three to the UK!
Second, I have to say that this ping-pong thing is a ton of fun! Very cool way of getting to know you better.
Okay. You asked a ton of questions and I'll try not to miss any this time.
More tattoos? I want to, but time and money are an issue. I want to get one that represents my kids. I have some ideas, but it's a wait and see kind of thing. I'd also like to get one that reflects my love of running.
Does my wife dig them? Hmm...she likes that I like them. When I showed her the completed third one (she hadn't seen any of the sketches), she said, "wow, that really is beautiful." But she's definitely not gaga over them. And, no, she doesn't have any. I've tried, but so far no sale.
Are you kidding? I LOVE to talk about my kids! I just don't want to bore the shit out of people. But you asked, so here we go...
Do we fit right in with the other couples on the playground? No. We are very private, internal people. Not outgoing or chatty unless we really click with somebody. Both of us have just a few very good friends. At a party you would most likely find us talking to each other or one really interesting person, we're not big minglers. We try to be friendly with the parents of our kids' friends so our kids can have a social life with whomever they want, not just who Mom and Dad like. Cameron's best friend has very cool parents, so that's great. And a new friend of his has cool parents. It's worked out pretty well so far.
I love being a dad. I really went into it without any preconceived ideas other than: this will change my life, this will become my life. And it has. Quitting my job to be at home with them, the writing gap, the end of Cranial Tempest, the music gap...and on and on. But I can see a future where my kids are not needing me 24/7 and I have to be ready and have other things I love that I can turn my attention to. Hence nibble and writing poetry again. Maybe, someday, I will have time to dive back into my assorted, aborted novels.
And I do write poetry about my kids. Every year on Valentines Day, Alice's birthday and our anniversary (when we remember it), I write a poem and glue it into a blank greeting card. Those poems tend to be kids related, more schmaltzy, not for public consumption. More than once, I've brought a tear to her eye, so I must be doing something right.
Places to submit other than nibble? Poiesis (from Propaganda Press) is a massive book that comes out twice a year. The last issue had 54 poets! Great quality and a huge variety. I think Poesy, Quercus and Nerve Cowboy are good print journals. Online I've had some bad experiences, I won't slam anybody, but I will say that Right Hand Pointing is the only online poetry mag I've found that I will submit stuff to again.
Alternating Current? Let's see if I can lay this out for you...how about a flow chart? A pie graph? <kidding> I think it goes like this: Alternating Current is an arts co-op. They deal in everything from poetry to music to movies to anything you'd call art, I guess. There is or will be an online zine library, an art gallery, I don't know what else.
Propaganda Press is the publishing arm of Alternating Current. They publish all the poetry stuff.
Should we talk more about poetry to keep the interest of the folks who will read this on LM or should we just talk about our kids?
KIDS:
What is the funniest thing each of your kids has said ever, or recently?
How do they get along with each other?
What is your system of discipline (if your have a system)? Is it the same for all of them? Does it differ by age or personality or temperament?
How to you juggle kids and college and Literary Mary and Animal Crossing? Do you have a time machine?
Has any of your kids flat refused to do something you told them to? If so, how did you deal with that?
(hope this doesn't tread in unwelcome waters) Are you a single-parent?
POETRY:
Do you like your own poetry?
What do you think are your weaknesses as a poet? Your strengths?
If you could steal one poets muse, who would it be? And how would that muse blend with your own?
(feel free to substitute style, voice or whatever other word for 'muse' if you don't like that one)
Three poetry accomplishments that you are most proud of?
Please don't feel obligated to answer all of these (or any)!Jenifer: I'm enjoying this Ping Pong too. Thanks for that.
I'm so excited about the handwritten nibble. It's going to be so cool.
If people are bored by our questions, they are not obligated to read the damned thing you know.
So let's see.
The kids section:
Funniest thing my kids have said. Well, you know how it is. They say funny things and do funny things all the time.. but sometimes I think maybe it's only funny to us? One time my seven year old, Carter, went into the bathroom and was in there for a little while. When he came out of the bathroom he was covered in shaving cream. I looked at him and said, 'Carter, how the hell did you get shaving cream all over you?' He just looked at me and said, 'I saw cream, and then cream was all over me.' I couldn't help but just laugh. They get along with each other about how you would expect. My oldest, Ward, is eleven. He takes very good care of the babies, who are two. He is very very sweet to his sister especially. He has a harder time with Carter. They fight a lot. But then, they share a bedroom and all that. Carter is in the middle of everyone, so he gets it from all sides. On one end his older brother is always yelling at him, and on the other end the babies are always screaming at him about what they want. The twins get along well, and get into trouble together, but they can also be really mean to each other. Cruel,even. I do have a system of discipline. For the older boys, they get three strikes. On the third strike they lose their privileges for the day, such as having friends over or playing video games. If something very, very bad happens, they get grounded. Ward has to have all his homework in by the weekend or he's grounded for the weekend. The twins get time outs, very short ones. It devastates them to get in trouble. Instant tears. Oh hell yes they have flat out told me no. I try to keep my cool at all times, not yell or anything like that. I've find that the more out of control I am the less they listen. The thing that works for me best is taking away the things they love, their social lives, skateboards,
video games.
How do I juggle kids and college and video games and Mary and blah and blah blah. Well, you know. My day begins very early and it ends very late. In between waking and sleeping, I don't sit much, unless I'm doing homework or doing something for the site. My writing suffers most, as that's always the first to take a back seat, even to LiteraryMary. I just do it, you know what I mean?
I'm waiting for justin.barrett to build me a time machine.
Now poetry. Do I like my own? Sometimes. Sometimes for a minute. Sometimes I'll love something one minute then come back and read it later and cringe. Usually I like what everyone else thinks is terrible and hate what everyone else thinks is great. My biggest weakness, I think, is that I am not so much a fiction writer as a poet than a story teller. I tell about things I've lived through and seen and so I always tend to write from my own perspective, using a lot of the 'I' in my writing. I think as I mature maybe I will be able to tackle some of these grand subjects or something political like I see other poets do. Sometimes, though, I think I'd just like to eventually hang up my pen and live quietly. If I could steal one poet's muse it would be me. Then I'd never have to write about myself again! See how easy that would be? I don't know that I would steal anyone's muse so much as I would like to make the entire world my muse. Three poetry accomplishments I'm most proud of? This website, LiteraryMary. Even though it is not only poetry related, I am very proud of it. When we launched it, we celebrated getting fifty members. We never thought it would last as long as it has and it's been odd for us to have to adjust things as we've become a bit more recognized. The second would be
the journal. It was a dream of mine when we started the site and I'm proud of myself for actually realizing something that I had always wanted to do. I'm proud of the finished product and the quality of work we printed. Third would be my book,
Skidding Through the Mud Incognito. I was shocked shocked shocked to win the
Gloom Cupboard poetry contest.
Alright, my turn.
Do you have a dark side? You always seem so cheerful.
Do you consider yourself happy?
What were you like as a teenager and a younger man, before you had children?
What are your goals as a writer?
If you could have any career you wanted what would it be?
What do you hope for your kids as they become adults?
Jeff: I think any parent can find the humor in other people kids' comments. I freaking cracked up at the shaving cream story!
I hear you on the taking away the things they love. The Wii is quickly becoming one hell of a bargaining chip. Just tonight they both asked if they could play Wii tonight. Nope, I says, if Cameron finishes his homework before Wed. night, we can play then. So guess what? Cameron finishes all his homework in one night. Bam!
Skidding is a great book. You should be proud and LM is awesome and the journal is great, too. You do damn fine work as a web queen, a poet and an editor. You are a Renaissance woman!
Do I have a dark side? Yes. I used to have a terrible temper. When I was as kid, I was pretty good at most everything I tried, but if I ran into something that I couldn't grasp right away, I would kinda flip out, get super pissed, kick stuff, break stuff, throw stuff, scream. I never really directed it at anyone. It was always inanimate things that would get my hackles up, just stuff not going my way. It runs in the family. My dad had it, my sister has it and now Cameron has it, though at age six he kind of aims it at his parents on occasion. I am definitely mellowing as I get older, but if I go too long without running or writing (or god forbid, both), it simmers really close to the surface.
(Fuck, I think I messed up my shoulder playing Wii tennis.)
Do you consider yourself happy? Yes, I try to be. I'm mean, shit, when I start to complain I sound like an ass. I have two great kids, a stable marriage, a good job. Shitty stuff has happened to me, but who can't say that?
What was I like as a teenager? I have no idea. I still feel like the same person in a lot of ways, just more self-assured, more confident.I don't care as much what other people think of me. I have a shitload more responsibilities now. Physically, I haven't even changed that much. I am the same height that I was in 10th grade and I weigh what I did when I was 20 (but 15 pounds less than when I was 22). Everything is started to sag a bit, I have some fun wrinkles, laugh lines and crows feet. The hairline has been in a slow retreat for the last 15 years. Some grey creeping in here and there (thanks kids!). I go to bed a lot earlier than I did before kids and I get up a lot earlier.
What are my goals as a writer? I don't really have any. I guess I just want to keep getting better. I'd love to inspire my kids to take up the pen in some capacity. Even if it's just jotting the occasional poem or short story in their spare time.
Any career? I'd like to be an athlete (like a world-class marathoner), but I think it might be too late for that. Rock God would be cool, lead singer in a kick-ass band. Again, too late for that probably, plus I can't sing or play anything. Maybe someone could pay me to be a dad! Yes. That would be my dream job: "Mr. Fleming, we'd like to pay you 150k per year to take care of your kids. Would that be okay?" Hmm...yes, that would do nicely, but how's the dental plan?
What do I hope for my kids? The usual: happiness, love, wisdom, knowledge, some kids of their own that I could spoil rotten. Cameron says he wants to be a NASCAR driver and a pro soccer player. Henry wants to be a scuba diver. I'm okay with all that, except maybe the NASCAR thing...
I'm gonna ping-pong these right back at you:
Do you consider yourself happy?
What were you like as a teenager and a younger man, before you had children?
What are your goals as a writer?
If you could have any career you wanted what would it be?
What do you hope for for your kids as they become adults?
Jenifer: Ponging my questions back at me...
I do consider myself happy. Funny for someone who has been diagnosed with severe clinical depression. I cannot say this every day. Today I am happy. A good friend of mine has taught me to take it a day at a time. So today, yes. I am happy.
I've never been a younger man... but I have been a teenager. I was horrible. My poor parents. I've always been very smart, and I've always gotten very good grades, but I ingested so many drugs from the age of about 15 to the age of about 22 that it's not even funny. In high school, it was all about hallucinogens. I did those and smoked a lot of pot. A bit later, I started doing heroin. I did that until a
couple of months before I got pregnant with my oldest son. I always made honors, though. I got married for the first time at 19. I was split from the guy about three months later. Then I had a string of boyfriends my parents hated, thieves, junkies etc. etc. every father's nightmare. After I had my children I realized I could either be a bad mom or a good mom. I chose to be a good mom.
My goals as a writer. Honestly? I don't know. My goal in life is to be happy. To find happiness. To finish school and get a good job teaching. To love and be loved. If writing fits in with that, great. If not, well, I'll stop. It remains to be seen.
If I could have any career I wanted it would be teaching. I would like to be able to teach literature and writing, especially poetry and possibly women's studies at a university level.
The only thing I hope for my children is that they grow up to be happy. I will do whatever I can to assure that happens.
So I think we're close to wrapping this up? Anything you want to talk about? Anything you want to plug. Like maybe
YOUR NEW BOOK?
Jeff: A new book, you say? Hmm....hadn't heard anything about that....
OHHHHH! You mean The Bones of Saints Under Glass?
April 2009 - nibblepoems aka Jeff vs. Jenifer
Since I'm already plugging, I'll just add that the new issue of nibble (number six) went out to contributors and subscribers today! Plenty of copies left for those folks who already ordered my new book and still have some dough left over.
Hey, if any LM folks can't decide which to order, I'll cut them a deal. Buy my book and I'll send them a free copy of nibble issue six! Two for one, gotta love that, right?
Sorry to see we're done here. It was fun getting your emails in my inbox and a real pleasure getting to know more about you ( Wii-head, Einstein, 36D, etc).Jenifer: I know. I'm sorry to see we're done too.
But I am happy to hear about your book. I will be ordering one of
those today.
Thanks for doing this with me, Jeff. I really appreciate it.
I hope I can edit it up well enough to do it justice.
Much love, my friend.
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