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[Father Luke]

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Rated NC-17 for Hottness.


Strangedaze:  So Alex, for our readers who aren't familiar with your sordid history, enlighten us: who are you? What type of writing do you enjoy reading and writing? And most importantly, are you single?  
  
***
  
Hisgaze: Haha!!  Straight to the thrust of it.  
  
 In brief, I'm Alex from London who started off writing because a friend at work asked me to help her with her poetry, no idea why.  So I started writing on a website for African-American literature and artists.  My friend at work was black so I joined and of course everyone assumed!!  Then a few years ago I joined Lit.Org and had a ball meeting those wonderful people, like yourself, Gigi, Jen, Nae, everyone!!  It took me a while to find Writingforums but grew to like the buzz.  Then for personal reasons (in real life) I decided to leave, it had become nothing more than habit.  And so now you see me today, looking at the creative side of things amongst friends.  
  
 My favourite type of writing is your average fiction, modern stories set in historical times, books that teach you something through the story and characters.  Gaah, to explain I am reading Labyrinth by Kate Moss over and over.  I like to go slowly when it comes to reaching out and finding new genres and authors I might like.  There is so much to absorb I think when you find one writer inspriring.  I joined an online workshop, so my taste did change dramatically in poetry.  I have decided that i like classical poetry and methods over modern freestyle, which hasn't really gone down well with my peers.  
  
 Alas, I am no longer single, I have a great, hot bodied Australian hunk who is very sweet and gentle.  
  
 Sorry assboy, I will have to light candles to a different perfectly rounded butt hehe!!  
  
 Bored yet?  
  
***
  

Strangedaze:  It's never boring in ass-land. You should know that by now. I tend to gravitate towards the type of poetry that doesn't use rhyme, meter, or rhetorical schemes. In fact, my favorite type of poetry isn't poetry at all, but fiction. Short, right now.  
  
 For those who don't know ME, I'm Andrew. Assboy. Dru. I'm Canadian, eh, and I'm fond of lewdness. What's next?
  
***
  
Hisgaze:  I lost your nude pictures can you send them again?
  
***
  

Strangedaze: I'll need a ring before I show my thing. Er. It's legal in Canada!  
  
 Moving along...  
  
 I seem to remember you being into art and architecture. Are those euphemisms for orgies, or am I barking up the wrong line of sexual innuendo?  
  
***
  
Hisgaze: Oh my ring might be a tight fit *ahem*.  
  
 I ran an antiques and interior design company in London with my ex.  He had an MA in architecture and fired up a passion, which was reflected in my writing at Lit.Org as London seemed to crop up the most as a topic.  As for art yes I am interested like anyone else is, my passion is the fashion industry and designers like Oswald Boateng on Saville Row, he designs modern haute couture for men and is so inspiring in his mix of feminine and masculine.  
  
 What is your biggest inspiration in life?  From the arts world I mean, what parts of it do you see and not really think at the time it has affected you?  I also noticed you have quite a racy personal life *coughtartcough*, does this influence what you like to read and write?  Are you more for the avant-garde or do you secretly desire a romantic existence?
  
***
  

Strangedaze: I'm fairly fashion-challenged. It's a bit sad, but I try to get by via alcohol. Under its influence I seem to believe that I'm Superman.  
  
 As for inspiration...  
  
 Despite a compulsion to be around people, socially, all the time, I'm a closet introvert who spends (perhaps a bit too much) time thinking those big thoughts. I fear aging, contemplate spirituality, overanalyze pretty much every facet of my life. For me, a good piece of art, being written, painted, or whatever, should tap into those thoughts, one way or another, regardless of medium.  
  
 From the art world, the paintings of Goya, H. Bosch, and the German expressionists have always given me hard-ons, but in a very nauseating way. They're all dark and pretty fucked to look at, but afterwards I'm really affected by the raw emotions translated onto the canvas.  
  
 As for writing, reading, and my racy personal life (cough cough? sounds like a body cavity search: *snaps rubber glove* can you cough for me, sunshine?)...  
  
 I've always gravitated to darker works, especially black comedy. My first love was Kafka, and I'm sure you can find pieces on the internet where I imitate him pretty severely. Even reading children's books as a wee one. I recently tracked down a book I read when I was really young, read it, and was like, 'wow - this is pretty twisted.' I grew up in around weird people (who hasn't?) and I think that more than anything influences me.  
  
 But back to my aforementioned personal life. It doesn't really influence what I write at all, at least not explicitly. I rarely, if ever, write about sex, and if I do it's subtle. Believe it or not, having crazy interpersonal relationships has led to a pretty peaceful existence. It does encourage me to think outside the box (or oftentimes about 'the box' - more tasteless, vaguely-misogynist hetero jokes!) and it's opened a door different social situations that I wouldn't have experienced otherwise.  
  
 AND FINALLY. Avant-garde all the way. There's room in my life for romance, and I'd bet that aspects of it ARE really romantic, but you won't hear me admit more than that in public.  
  
 Great questions, captain. Now I have a few for YOU.  
  
 What, or whom, is your muse? You seem pretty put together. Have any demons you'd like to hint at for the paying customers? And if you could sleep with one literary figure, historical or not, who would it be and why?
  
***
  
Hisgaze:  Awww, I knew it!!! A closet hopeless romantic!!!!  Mwahahahaha!!!  
  
 My muse?  Ooooo, that is such a difficult question.  I am a huge lover of cities.  Huge melting pots of people especially London and Paris the two places I have lived in the most.  The countryside I feel is a private place, for private reflection that shouldn’t be shared.  The coast I find inspiring only because it clears my mind of absolutely everything, including inspiration!!  But no person has ever been my muse, they inspire me in life but not my work.  I love London I think because of its diversity and strength, it sprawls for miles, you cross a street and you are in a different world altogether.  That is inspiring to me, my love of history, of all things old.  
  
 I find musings in the strangest places, I was in a police helicopter in Trinidad, and we saw an armed robbery and smugglers in a boat from Venezuela, yet it inspired romance!!!  In the strangest way, that one will be coming soon, hehe.  
  
 My demons are a huge lack of confidence that can often mean I don't even want to leave the house.  It doesn't come across very often in conversation but it has come out a lot in my work, throughout most of my work.   A deep rooted fear of being hurt like I have before.  That tends to be the only one.    
  
 Urm, ooooo, never thought of sleeping with a literary figure, the first name that popped into my head was Eugiene Ionesco!!!  Hahahaha!!!  i think its because I found The Chairs a sexy play, hehe.  Did I mention I like role play in the bedroom?   But I suppose it would have to be Iain Banks, I bet he is a dirty fucker in the bedroom and just wants to stick his fingers everywhere *shiver*.  
  
 If there was one place, besides my bedroom, that you would like to visit, where is that place and why?  I also have noticed you stay clear of political points, are these quite a personal thing for you?  You also say you grew up with weird people, please can you clarify or define normal perhaps from your view?    
  
 Also sorry, another question, if we met would I get a peck on the cheek or a full on pash session?  :-P
  
***
  

Strangedaze: I wouldn't mind sleeping with Zadie Smith, Arundhati Roy (circa God of Small Things), maybe Charlotte Gill, and, OH OH, ANAIS NIN! Simply because I can't even fathom the sorts of sexual knowledge she had accumulated in her lifetime. I feel like there's more, but they aren't coming to my mind right now.  
  
 ...  
  
 I steer clear of political points because, pardon the pun, arguing over the internet is pointless (zing!). Also, I hate when people try to impose their political views on me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've got very firm ethics and it would be fucking great if the world and its people paralleled them, but....but....  
  
 Sigh. You know, I believe in fighting for what you believe in, but waving my dick in internet forums isn't for me. Unless we're eschewing the figurative for the literal. In which case, how do you think I became a mod here?  
  
 By weird I mean........just weird. I've been trying to write out the character of this old man who died in my basement and come to terms with some mental illnesses in the family. Not with me, thank God, though some might disagree.  
  
 As for pashing or pecking, I imagine somewhere in between, depending on which controlled substances made it into my body. And no, I don't mean sperm  
  
 To turn this bad bitch around on you, lemme ask you:  
  
 Would you rather be known as huge commercial success, but a literary sell-out a couple decades down the road, or an unknown struggling in a small press market?  
  
 Also. Do you knit? If so, why? If not, why not? And either way, what are some of your eccentricities that THEY might want to know about?
  
***
  
Hisgaze:  Wow, I just picked up my first Zadie Smith novel and I am impressed!  Thanks Drew!!  
  
 Haha, point taken about the politics, there is always something nice in jostling for position though, you might accidentally brush against something *wink*.  
  
 With regards to writing for commercial success I'm not interested.  I don't write for an audience, for instance, when I write in my journal it is a series of scribbles, it's not a coherent one piece conversation I am having with myself.  To anyone else it would not make much sense.  So I would have to say neither to that question, I have no wish to be published, the greatest joy should be writing for yourself.  Although saying that the very first lesson any writer should be taught is not to be precious about your chosen art.  There will always be criticism, but learning to be gracious and polite to that can only improve your writing, whether you agree or not.  
  
 Hahahaha, my mum taught me how to knit and I used to just for creative pleasure, hehe.  How the hell did you know that!?!  I can still remember knitting my first dildo cover!  Oh the joy on mothers face.    
  
 As far as eccentricities go, I have too many to mention properly.  I have to say my main one is going to auctions and picking up a load of old nothing I'm never going to do anything with.  I just love auctions and the smell of old things.  I follow old ladies up the high street hehehe.  I tend to live in my own world half the time, I'm not very current on popular culture *washes teeth in glass*.
  
 One thing I have noticed about you is an insatiable want to learn, you do not seem to discriminate either and take from your own and others experiences, is there any ground you would not wish to cover?  Is there a piece of life you know exists but perhaps fear finding out more?  What are your main goals for writing?  How do you choose your topics?  Is it a want to share what you have learnt?  Or is it an exercise in learning more for yourself?  
  
 P.S>  Huge hugs
  
***
  

Strangedaze:  Dildo cover, eh? You sassy sex vixen you!  And Zadie is a gorgeous writer. Droooool.  
  
 About how insatiable I am (meow!)...  
  
 I'm still young, so I don't consider myself knowledgeable about ANYTHING, let alone writing, which I haven't been doing for that long. I remember when I joined lit.org and posted my first piece. It's still up there, incidentally. It concerned a person in a coma watching his wife pull the plug. Or something. I got a good response to it, so I said to myself, 'man - I should write more.' And then for the next two years everything I wrote was ripped to shreds. I decided that the only way I was going to learn was to take my lumps and learn from criticism. It's been tough, but that's the only way to improve. Take THAT, Uncle Phil.  
  
 Any ground that I don't want to cover? Oddly enough, sex. I've written erotica before, both poetry and short fiction, but it doesn't appeal to me as a writer. At least not right now. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy humping the watermelon while reading good erotica as much as the next guy or gal, but my goal as a writer isn't eliciting sexual arousal. At least not right now.  
  
 (speaking of arousal, I just met this girl in a class today and, Alex, let me tell you: she's to die for. I'm hoping my wordsmithery will endear me to her)  
  
 I don't really FEAR writing about anything. As a reader, I like authors who work without a net, on a high wire, taking big risks that are great if pulled off, but can also crash and burn. I try to write that way. I'd rather fall aiming high than succeed in being mediocre.  
  
 I prefer writing about things that go unnoticed - yeah, right, me and every other writer, right? - in the sense that I think there can be beauty in the ugliest experiences. I've always enjoyed writing that totally shakes my perceptions. Films too. Which reminds me: any favorite movies you'd like to tell me about? And don't lie, I know Shaving Ryan's Private is on your list  
  
 To go on with your questions (after that brief, but depraved, segue), my subject matter usually chooses me. I'm like any other person who writes creatively - I see things and think, man, I'd like to write about that. It just so happens, however, that some pretty strange, strange things appeal to me in that way.  
  
 In a way, I do use my writing to share emotions - forcing a reader to react, recoil, swoon, take off their clothes, etc. I think successful writing does that. I also just like creating, diving into absurd situations with eccentric characters as my guides. There's an allusion to Dante in there somewhere, but I'm too lazy to build it up.  
  
 Also, I think everyone learns from their writing. I know I have. A lot of my own personal fears, dreams, hopes, preoccupations, trauma, quips and foibles have appeared to me via my writing. Over time, certain motifs manifest, and you think, wow - I totally have issues. But then you can analyze, deconstruct, and ultimately better yourself.  
  
 And, uh, writing helps you make it with the chicks. Honest.  
  
 Aside from telling us your fave films, lemme ask you: are you the person you wanted to be when you daydreamed as a little boy? What's your favorite COCKtail, and if you had to write a haiku to a young poet seeking your advice, what would it look like?  
  
 Finally, if you could cast yourself in one fairy tale, which would it be?
  
***
  
Hisgaze:  Oh no, your uncle isn't Dr. Phil is he?  Aaaahhh!!!!  
 Someone give that man a pie and tell him to shut up!!!  
  
 Shaving Ryan's Privates??!!  Ewwww, Tom Hanks nekkid is not a good thought!!!  I was thinking more Pearl Necklace with Josh Hartnett is a good one.  But favourite films, hmmm, go as follows:  
  
 Horseman on the Roof (French)  
 Chocolat (okay okay I like Juliette Binoche)  
 The Color Purple (you and me must never part.....)  
 Connie and Carla (hahaha, gotta love the drag queens and Toni Colette)  
 Willow (I love midgets, hence I'm not a racist)  
 The Dark Crystal (aaah, gelfling!!!)  
 Labyrinth (David Bowie in tights ewww)  
 The Goonies (Ay you guys!!!  love it)  
  
 The old ones are the best.  I'm such a kid!!  
  
 Writing helps with chicks?  Wouldn't know dear.  Who dear, me dear, gay dear, no dear!!  How VERY dare you!!  
  
 Oh nuts what a question!!! Urm, i don't really know what kind of person I wanted to be, I was asthmatic as a child and on steroids, so I couldn't think beyond the next fabulous moment which would have me in hypertension in the sick room at school!!!  But I would have to say for the most part yes, I idolised me dad as a child because he never had opinions just ideas and was always there to talk to.  So yes, I'm a professional in my field of work, I have good friends, I have helped people who have needed it and I lend an ear.  Other than that I suppose it is for others to decide, I am useless at looking at myself.  What about you?  Don't you find constant analysis of oneself soul destroying?  
  
 My favourite cocktail is a Cosmopolitan of course *tut* what else?  But there is one we serve at the bar I used to work in called a Spunk Bubble, hehe, it is Vodka, Tia Maria with a dash of creamy Baileys, hence the name, goes down smoother than a whore on payday!!!    
  
 haiku:  
  
 rid yourself of angst  
 squeeze the spot adolescent  
 no-one gives a shit  
  
 Too harsh?  
  
 Urm, fairytales, urm, i guess I would have to be Madame Mimms (is that spelt right?) in the Sword and the Stone.  Just because she has a dirty laugh.  
  
 So let me ask you rug muncher extraordinaire....sorry......just grossed myself out.  
  
 Do you remember a film called Pete's Dragon?  What film has made you cry the most and why?  Do you have a secret Disney collection under your bed instead of porn?  What is the weirdest thing you have tried to do in public?  
  
 I think our readers would also like to know about your sense of humour, what tickles you the most?  Satire?  Other people's misfortunes? (I think in the US you call it Police Camera Action!).  Have you ever tried to write comedy and if so what has been your inspiration?  
  
 I also think you should tell our readers where you would like to be in ten years time.  
  
  
***
  

Strangedaze: Your poetic advice sounds bang on. There tends to be this assumption that poetry, because of its concise form, is easier to write than prose. Not so. Which is why almost every poem I read comes out as this maudlin expression of the 'poet's' angst. I have my own angst, thanks. I don't need to shoulder yours, at least not when it’s expressed in the same overwrought style you'd likely find inside of a Hallmark card.  
  
 Never seen Pete's Dragon, though my mind is spinning with euphemistic possibilities right now. Made me cry? Honey, I cry SO much at movies. It's sickening. American Beauty, The World According to Garp, the Six Feet Under series (though that's not technically a film). I think they all get me attached to characters and then snuff them out in the end. I can't handle that.  
  
 I DO NOT have a secret Disney collection in lieu of porn. In fact, I don't own any Disney movies whatsoever. So that THAT! And 'under my bed' doesn't really exist, since it's a mattress on a box spring on the ground.  
  
 Weirdest thing attempted in public? New Years, 2002, I urinated on the window of the local video rental merchant (Blockbuster was his name, I think). Or maybe it was the time my cousin constructed some sort of rocket launcher out of those model rocket kits and we took turns shooting it at buses in winter. Both were successes. Then there was the time at camp one summer, where I hid behind a tree and changed out of my bathing suit. Needless to say, I was intruded upon. By the camp's entire female population.  
  
 Tickling...? Herm, dark humor, mostly. Satire's okay, watching other people suffer can have its bright shining moments, but black humor always intrigues me, and I'm always trying to include it in my writing. Good examples of darker humor in lit that appeals to me would be maybe...Clockwork Orange, American Psycho, Kafka, Craig Davidson's collection Rust and Bone, Fear and Loathing, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, maybe. Hmm, now that I'm pressed to think about it, my mind is going blank. Fuck a duck.  
  
 And where I'm going to be in ten years? Maybe searching for a teaching job, if I go through with graduate school. Hopefully published, though I don't expect to be making a living off of it.  
  
 Surrounded by nubile sex goddesses attending to my every need?  
  
 What about you, captain: where will ten years take you?  
  
 Do you think cologne is on the way out, or is it still going strong? What's your opinion of writers who write idiomatically, or phonetically (Twain in Huck Finn, Irvine Welsh and Trainspotting)? One writer you love but don't tell anyone about? Top or bottom?  
  
 Whoops, how did that one get in there!  
  
 Finally, if you could change one thing about yourself and about the world, what would they be?
  
***
  
Hisgaze:  You cried at Six Feet Under?  Awwww babe *hug*.  
  
 You're ticklish?  Hmmmm *takes notes*.    
  
 Oh Christ, in ten years I will most probably be in Australia where I am now planning on moving to.  Whether with my other half or on my own I need to do it.  Although i will be fighting getting the accent on board, I like mine, hehe.  
 As for job, well, my partner runs his own marketing firm out there so not sure, we both have similar interests so I may end up working with him on certain property developments.  Not sure.  Writing is and always will be a hobby, I don't have it in me to sit there and think properly as there is too much happening in my life.  My parents live in Trinidad and Tobago where I spent Christmas, my brother live all over the UK, so I have a lot to do and plan and say on a personal level to make all these changes in my life happen.  
  
 Cologne?  We don't use cologne, that is a pungent horrible smell over here.  We wear scents like Chanel Allure, Aqua by Herrera, L'eau D'Issey by Issey Miyake, nice scents.  I don't think it’s on its way out at least no over here, if you smell bad you’re not a part of society, hahahaha.  
  
 I cannot say I am a huge fan, I have a problem in many respects with that style of writing as we have the medium of television, which whilst it is fashionable for everyone to say 'urgh television!' I find has some amazing writing produced which works well when acted.  Trainspotting irritated me, its fun for others if they haven't seen that type of life other than on television or reading a book but when you have it never strikes close to the mark.  It gets close but not close enough, I think that is why it irritates me.  If you have to write in such a way I find it important that there is some removal  or distance implied, not because of the subject matter, but simply because it can often become ludicrous and silly.  what about you Mr. Leading Question?  hehe.  
  
 Writers I love I have to say is all my favourites as a child, Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl and C. S. Lewis. They were stories about people who don't seem to exist anymore (well, not really Roald Dahl) but you know what I mean.  I like to be taken out of my life.  These will always be my favourites for the rest of my life.  
  
 Ooooo you bitch!!  Lol!!  I am actually versatile but I prefer being Bottom, which is lucky cos my partner prefers being the man grrrrrr, and boy is he good at it!!!  *ahem* Too much info?  
  
 If I could change one thing about myself it would be realising my feelings before I make a total fuck up by trying to ignore them.  I don't know how I ended up like this but it takes me a while to work out my true feelings.    
  
 As for the world, well, there is too much to change.  We have become a scared and frightened world and that is so dangerous.  Britain at the moment is a very anxious place, we hate that we have an army fighting an illegal war, after one era of terrorism ends another starts, don't forget we have had this now for over 30 years with the IRA, just when we thought we could breathe then 7th July happens, it has had a huge effect which won't become known properly for a long time.  So if I could change one thing it would be to give our current leaders a bit more foresight away from their arrogance.  
  
 One thing that doesn't always appear in your conversations online is your sincere compassion about people, it takes a while I think to get to know that side of you (that's not a bad thing i just think you know the type of people you like and don't like, AAAHHH, this is coming out sooo wrong, sorry.  What do you care most about in the world when it comes to a burning desire to make change happen?  
  
 What is your favourite poem and why?  If you had to say to everyone in the world 'you must read this.....' what would fill in the gap?  
  
 How come you have the most perfectly pert and rounded ass I have ever seen?  Does yours show or grow?  *wipes dribble*.  Have you ever tucked it between your legs and run around screaming 'look at my front bum!!!'?  
  
 Right, I have been long winded enough and people are starting to watch porn on the internet!!  Ooooo!!  Cream Pie!!  
  
***
  

Strangedaze:  Here at Literary Mary, there's never 'too much info.'  
  
 As for the world, the things that concern me most are prejudices that people have. This may surprise some, but I identify as Christian, or some permutation thereof. I grew up in a fairly irreligious household, and though I went to Catholic school most of my life, the decision to explore religion was a personal choice. That said, religion as an institution has proven time and time again to be corrupt and an instigator of hatred. If I could change something about the world, it would be to strip religion of its self-serving artifice and restore it's, uh, message, I guess. That, and I'm really fucking concerned about the environment.  
  
 My favorite poem and why? I don't like a lot of poetry, to be honest. BUT, but, Margaret Atwood's poetry, especially in The Circle Game, pleasures me. For example:  
  
 THIS IS A PHOTOGRAPH OF ME  
 It was taken some time ago.  
 At first it seems to be  
 a smeared  
 print: blurred lines and grey flecks  
 blended with the paper;  
  
 then, as you scan  
 it, you see in the left-hand corner  
 a thing that is like a branch: part of a tree  
 (balsam or spruce) emerging  
 and, to the right, halfway up  
 what ought to be a gentle  
 slope, a small frame house.  
  
 In the background there is a lake,  
 and beyond that, some low hills.  
  
 (The photograph was taken  
 the day after I drowned.  
  
 I am in the lake, in the center  
 of the picture, just under the surface.  
  
 It is difficult to say where  
 precisely, or to say  
 how large or small I am:  
 the effect of water  
 on light is a distortion  
  
 but if you look long enough,  
 eventually  
 you will be able to see me.)  
  
 ---
  
 It just... powerful imagery and thought provoking. And dark, of course  
  
 If I had to say 'you must read this...'. though, my answer wouldn't be poetry. It's a difficult question, because I'd recommend different books for different reasons. And it's tough, too, because my favorite books might not appeal to everyone else. But I'll go out on a limb and say......The World According to Garp by John Irving for its addictive characters and funky story, OR Barney's Version by Mordecai Richler for making a love story that I can not only stomach, but that actually affected me at the end.  
  
 I'm not sure why I have 'said ass'. For anyone who doesn't know, me, Alex here, gigi, Vodka, Ilan, Nae, and some others had a little writing community going on outside of WF (and LM). There was a section for posting pictures. Somehow my ass appeared. Hence the name Assboy.  
  
 I have NO idea what you mean by show or grow, so I'll just move on. And do I ever tuck it between my legs and run around screaming 'look at my front bum'? Um.........................  
  
  
  
 And porn? Shame shame shame.  
  
 Although, Literary Mary DOES promote 'pies' of all kinds  
  
 So Alex, what DO you look like? Tall, dark, handsome? Dignified, looking good in a suit? All I have for a frame of reference is the pic you had as an AV on WF and lit.org (is that still kicking?!).  
  
 We all know what I look like, because I'm a dirty exhibitionist. Sigh.  
  
 Next question...  
  
 Can you dance? Are you a fashionista? And what's your opinion of Borat?  
  
 Weee!  
  
 Oh, and something about writing. Hmmm. What dost thou think of Bukowski?  
  
***
  
Hisgaze:  Lol, what do I look like?  I will post some pictures up in the appropriate forum for you, then you can decide for yourself, :-P  
 And yes I haven't changed my avatar on Lit, I still look like an orange chimp that's got hit with a frying pan.  
  
 Yes I can dance, lol, I did ballet for four years, then I got shin splints, so did another four at ballroom and Latin.  My favourite dance by far is Rhumba, it's so sexy.  
  
 A fashionista?  Oh yes, I loooove fashion tv.  Hehe.  When I was about 17 I did London Fashion Week modeling suits, it was fun apart from when I got stalked.  I also have to say it is the most boring job I have ever had, 13 hours of hair, make-up and rehearsal for 2 minutes on a catwalk, I just remember thinking I was a fish out of water.  I have never met a group of people who can gabble on so much about nothing!! Oops!  That's me too.  
  
 I am bored of Borat, don't forget we have had him over here for years and the humour isn't all that new, so, I'm not bothered either way.  
  
 Bukowski, hmmmmmm.  I'm going to step my foot in it and say really I am not a fan, he needs some serious workshopping, but I am sure that on coffee tables up and down the country there are plenty of ring marks on the glass where the poems haven't been used as a coaster. :-P  
  
 *P.S> I do have questions but have to run out of the door, I forgot the time!!!  please don't reply, questions on the way.  
  
 *hug and kiss*
  
***

Hisgaze:   Hehe, well I posted my pics for you I hope you like them.  
  
 Is this a good time to wrap it up?  Have we said enough?  What makes a good interview?  Aaaahhh!!!  
  
 Okay, name three places in the world you would love to go and why?  
  
 How would you like to be remembered once you are gone?  
  
 And finally, please share with us, perhaps a snippet of something you have written that you enjoy, appreciate and will always read back to yourself.  
  
***
  

Strangedaze: I think our time is coming to a close. I'm not sure what makes a good interview either. I've always thought lots of references to sex and the appropriate subject matter, which in this case would be writing, and I think we've got the bases covered.
  
Three places I want to visit? England, where my crazy friend Nina lives with her bisexual neo-Platonic fiance. Scotland / the Ukraine, for my heritage - I'm counting them as one, because, like, I can Wink.  And somewhere nice and toasty and warm. Cuba, Cancun, etc. Because I like warm.
  
How would I like to be remembered? Preferably as a successful writer, but more than that - someone who lived passionately and didn't settle for anything less than complete and utter happiness.  
  
And share a snippet? Yar. Let me think. I was originally going to put something recent up, since I like to think I'm ever-improving and that everything I wrote previously was shit, but I've decided to take a chunk from the first thing I wrote that felt natural, like me. A bit out of control, rude, over the top, or whatever, but celebrating my experiences in life and written in a voice that was my own. It came out so naturally, felt so vivid (to me, anyway), as opposed to what I'd written previously, and it didn't need to have some weird trick ending or like some 'great fucking epiphany.'  
  
  
So, here's a slice from my pellet gun story, Trashy White Celebrity, which will forever feel near and dear to my heart, even if it stays locked away...
  
"As I stare at the rolls of Gord’s fat, flapping in waves like cascading gelatin, I start to expect some sort of epiphany, some kind of colossal, awe-inspiring revelation just inflating and ready to burst like a helium balloon under his skin. I start to imagine Jesus living in there, or Buddha, pounding on the insides of Gord’s puffy nipples with his fists and kicking his stomach, just wanting to get out to save my fucking soul. That’s what I’m thinking as I train my sights on Gord’s chest and take a deep breath, counting to three. I’m thinking about something behind all that fuckin’ fat, all that fat and sweat and blood that will probably start streaming out in less than thirty seconds if I hit him dead on. Something more than...whatever. Something I can’t put my finger on."
  
  
Alright, Alex, I guess that's a wrap. Thanks for playing, and I look forward to seeing more of your work (and that picture of you sleeping with Johnny Depp that I keep hearing about).

--fin--