So this all started because I wondered how tall The Pilgrim is…The Pilgrim: Why do you want to know how tall I am?
Gigi: Because you have left everything to the imagination.
And what do you imagine?
I
don't
know.
You must imagine something...
What am I?
Tall, black, athletic?
Short, bald, stocky?
Average, Jewish, circumcised?
Is this the beginning of the questions?
Yes. What am I?
Tall…athletic…?
5'8"--I use my quicks on the court. And yeah, I'm fit.
5’8”… No wonder we always seem to see eye-to-eye.
Black? I hadn't considered race, but that would be hott. Why? (Yes, my theme will be to ask you questions I already the answers to.)
Because I like the sound of a black man's voice. Super sexy.So Barry White, not Prince. Got it.
Jewish? huh. I hadn't considered faith, either. Your interest/knowledge in philosophy and theology is admirable. Maybe you were raised within strict spiritual boundaries and you're rebelling by seeking ultimate truth.No. I've never even been to a Sunday mass, and I don't think of my...whatever it is, as being rebellious.
Circumcised? Who cares?Mostly Jews. Mostly.
Despite being 5'8" and white, I can actually go pretty deep.
Oh no you di'int.
I didn't mean it like that.
Perv.
Regardless, you knew I'd take it like that.
Wait.
That didn't come out right, either...
We'll let it slide this time.
...
...
...
So now that you know how tall I am, what else would like to know?
You're going to have to give me some time to come up with the official interview questions, if that's what you're asking for.
You're funny.
thanks? I’d rather you find me funny than annoying.Think we should start over? Or is the idea of this ping-pong thing to make a complete spectacle of ourselves?
Start over.
Let's redeem ourselves. We're enough of a spectacle as is, wouldn't you agree?Nah, I say we keep it. Give the people what they want.
* * *
Soooo….
A/S/L?
I had to look-up A/S/L...man, you really are a geek. 26/M/Hamilton, Ontario.
And you're not a geek at all... You're 26 - how do you even know about The Shadow??
Have you lived in Hamilton all your life? Yes. If you're wondering what it's like, think of Pittsburgh around the 70's. At least I'm blessed to live on "The Mountain": the city is divided by an escarpment, with the steel factories and downtown area on the lower end, and the 'burbs on top--away from the riff raff. If you're kind of geek at all a certain Star Trek refernce should come to mind.
You mentioned that you were recently in Europe - do you travel often?No, I don't travel that often, at least not to Europe. The last time I went I was all of three. The only other 'exotic' location I've visited was Whitehorse.
Care to reveal your real name?Jason Giulekas--it's Greek. I pronounce it Gill-eek-as, but I'm almost positive that's wrong. If you'll remember my psuedonym for Augmented Reality was Jason Guile. Pretty clever, I thought.
Clever is as clever does, or so they say. I also have a name that I think is pronounced incorrectly. My dad likes to say "Lance", but I've been told it's pronounced like "Hans", so "Lahnz". By some accounts there are two dots over the 'a'. It's Danish, but when I asked someone from Denmark they said they never heard the name before. shrug...
How does a professional poker player find his way onto Literary Mary?Well, after not having written much for a few years I went back to WF to hone my craft. I took a look around and wasn't much impressed, so I looked in my inbox and all my old correspondence were still there. And wouldn't you know it, the last one was from you. So from there I basically cyber-stalked my way on to LM and the rest is creepy.
As Flavor Flav would say: "waaooooooow"... You must really love me. Hmm...yes. Quite.
You seem to be a voracious reader – what initially sparked that interest? Did I need to say ‘initially’ before ‘sparked’ since the latter implies the former?Well, it all started when I was about 15 or so and I got this insane desire to be "perfect". I wanted to read everything and become all-knowing, or enlightened, or something. I also started working-out about 6 hours a day, so that I would be physically perfect, and meditating to achieve spiritual perfection. Think Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver and you have pretty good idea of my mind set at the time. Once I came to the conclusion that perfection was unattainable, even by me, I sort of lost all motivation to do anything. Now I'm a no-account gambler. But I still have a six-pack. So there's that.
And no, it's redundent. But that's ok. So am I.
You spelled 'redundant' wrong. Maybe you should have been spending more time on your studies and less time on your abs of steel... (Bowflex says you can have it all in just 20 minutes a day.)Spelling is the weakest part of my game--I remember reading somewhere that a lot of the great writers were notoriously bad spellers. So there. Besides I'd assumed you'd be doubling as my editor.
So all this working out and nothing in the Gallery. Seems such a shame. I am faaarrrr from perfect, but I still put my mug up in that joint. Let's talk about your hair for a minute. So you're Greek, do you have the stereotypical thick dark curly hair? And I'm not talking about THOSE dark curlies.I am Nietzsche's proverbial "blonde beast". Blue eyes, too. My mother's Hungarian, so that's where that comes from.
Which is your genre of choice for reading? Writing?I lean towards books with an existentialist bent--Kafka, Nietzsche, Dostoevsky, etc.
As for writing, well I mean fuck, but that's kind of a dumb question; read my shit, why don'cha?
Brat. So… ‘rhetoric’, then?
What do you hope to accomplish with your writing?Well, initially I thought I might be able to influence the medium in the same way Picasso and Pollack influnced painting. Augmented Reality was my attempt to do something that was the literary equivalent of abstract art. Honestly though, it turned out to be just a re-hash of Beautiful Losers with some Flowers for Algernon overtones and a smattering of J.D. Salinger. And one particularly blatent rip-off from Tristram Shandy. Nothing really original or ground-breaking about it. Plus, they didn't do much of an editing job on it, so there's a few pretty embarrasing typos and misspellings. But you should pick it up anyway if you get a chance. My parents thought it was great, and they wouldn't lie.
You should have had me proofread it. I will have to read it. I should maybe read the other books you mention first? I'm severely under-read, it's a shame.
Can you elaborate on the plot a little more? How was it published? Did you send it out to a publisher, or did you self publish? Any future books, or a follow-up in the works?Do you really think I'd stoop to include something as prosaic as a plot in one of my works?
It was published through AuthorHouse, which is along the same lines as Publish America. What can I say, I was young.
I can't say what the future may hold, what with 2012 fast approaching and all.
How is it that you, a Canuckian, is so enamored of the Celtics? How did that happen?I like the whole history of the Celtics, going back to the Auerbach and Russell days. But in a playoff series against the Raptors, I'd probably find myself rooting for the, ugh, Canuckians over the Green & White.
I was just wondering if you have ever heard of The Pistons? I might have loyalties there... Just sayin'. It's a little silly having these instilled loyalties since I don't follow sports much anymore…
Does your gambling extend to sports?I might bet on the odd parlay here and there, but I don't really like wagering on something that's mostly out of my control. You'll never see me on a roulette table, for example.
Are you also a baller? A baller? You are aware I live in Canada, right? The only ballers here are used for melons.
Well if you're not a baller, are you a shot-caller? Do you have 20-inch blades on the Impala?Please. Stop.
Back to poker – is this your career or a hobby? Are you like Rainman with cards?It's a career, in the same way Professional Pick-pocket can be considered a career. That is to say I make good money at it, but every time I do I die a little inside.
I'm pretty good with mathematics and reading tells, but mostly I just pick up on betting patterns. At the end of each hand is a showdown, wherein anyone left in the hand after the last round of betting has to flip over their cards, which means I get to see exactly what they were betting on throughout the hand. All I really need is one or two showdowns and I know how you bet and why you bet, and plan my strategy accordingly.
I play with a partner, mostly just for the company but sometimes we cheat by telling each other our cards if we happen to be on the same table. Though my conscience often gets the better of me and I usually convince him to play tournaments with me instead of cash (since we usually can't get on same table in a tournie, we can't cheat).
I play both live and online, but mostly online just because it's more efficient. And it's easier to take a degenerate gambler's money when you don't have to look at his sorry butt.
Ok. I bet you could lose at poker to a novice like me since there would be no pattern to my behaviour. 'Random' can't be predicted, or so I've heard. If you lost to me at poker, would the defeat be devastating? Are you challenging me? Huh? Huh?!
Punk.
And omg - cheating?? Yeah. For a long time I refused to, then one day I realised that the world was a morally bankrupt pit of despair, so I thought 'why not?'.
Which is your poker game of choice? Do you play tables live, or do you play internet p0kerz?I play Texas hold'em, because that's all anyone plays, but I much prefer stud and draw games. Even though the luck factor is a little higher in those games they're just more fun.
You said you prefer stud...I prefer to play stud, yes.
Why is it that “Internet” is supposed to be capitalized, anyway?I dunno.
huh. Sheesh!
Who are your personal heroes, and why? You can omit me from the list for the purposes of this interview…As I pompously opined recently in the '...taught me...' thread, there are no heroes, only anti-heroes. I don't know what that means exactly, but it sounds edgy and hip.
You're nothing if not pompous, edgy and hip. You'd fit right in with the rest of the dudes in Portland...
What personal writing accomplishment makes you most proud? I have no pride. It's one of the deadly sins, don'cha know.
Is lying in that list of deadlies??No, actually.
So are we about done here, or what?
YesDo me a favour and add "Well," to the beginning of ever answer...
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