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22085 Posts in 2155 Topics- by 216 Members - Latest Member: TrudaHannah

May, 22, 2012 - Loading...
LiteraryMaryWriting and Random Creativity Workshops Poetry and LyricsA Couple of Dandelions.
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Author Topic: A Couple of Dandelions.  (Read 170 times)
Olaf
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« on: May 08, 2011, 10:52:18 AM »


O the lovers penis dowsing
over an oily buttock!

Sweating and spent; he loves him and hugs
like a pillow crushed by a lonely sleeper.

Their legs tangle like twisted branches
from the old brittle tree of affection.

They kiss the softest kisses
making the tiniest - almost invisible
sound - like a click.

It is immesurable - that glow,
love taken on and off
like gloves in winter.

Frivolous love,
all the impermanence
of frozen water.

Their icecube hands
melt in each other's hands.

They stare into each other's
eyes like museum statues.

Eyes sparkle like
water in the peach sun.

They know how short
their time together is
how eternal each day
seems.

O nanosecond love! How gone,
all life is melting!

The great supermarket of life
and the long processions
waiting outside graveyards
for the cat box conclusion.

They squeeze and squeeze
each other like handfuls
of daffodils.

Selfish buttock clenching
worshipped madness. They
want to contain each other.
 
Love's quicksand
in the hands of time.

(Cement a moment with a poem,
send it to the filing cabinet
let is sit there for eternity.
let the next generations read
them and look at your dusted words
your bright face in dead photographs.)

Fellate the cock of a lover
and taste the slight tang
of a touch of urine that
remains from not being
properly cleaned because
haste was to hot to
care how clean the body
was, for life is too short
to iron everything out
pristine white.

And they seem frozen
in embrace. Frozen in
tongues immortalised in stone.
Cozed up together in a boy cuddle.

The hard penis an obelisk
worshipped daily nightly
perenially. Immortalised
in mouths.

They kiss
while an
icecube
melts on
the carpet.

'God must exist...'
he says
curling his golden hair.

'...because our lives are so
small. Something must breathe
bigger than the big bang...'

He kisses his armpit.
He kisses his shoulder blade.

They lie in silence. Breathing.  
Their black cat sits like an urn
staring out of the window.

Dozing they make love
in half remembered
dreams.




*Work to be done.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2011, 03:53:45 PM by Olaf » Logged

Do not confuse ingenuous with ingenious - Olaf

Dedicated to bad writing - Charles Bukowski

'A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.' - James Joyce

The man that cannot visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot -Andre Breton

Who has the courage to go into the dark places where there is nothing but feeling? - Thomas A. Clark

'For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open and every secret should be brought to the light. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.' - Mark 4:22-23

Many a clever boy is flogged into a dunce and many an original composition corrected into mediocrity- Sir Walter Scott
 
VickieSALT
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« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2011, 06:28:20 PM »


so yummy, despite the techno hints like nanosecond and so realistic, wherein i the Fellatrix can identify with the taste experience. Enchanting.

minor note: "taste was TOO hot"

I think many people mistake the pre-come taste to be that of urine. Non? Also happenes when a man is totally drained, spent, still hard and can't urinate. That's when that anonymous liquid comes out Tongue

Can't pass up the opportunity to point out the one-dimensional view of man on fellatio. A woman always finds a way to cement (so easy to say semen) the languorous moments of nuzzling the testicles, measuring the erection with her face, inhaling the perinea - it's worthy of a yummy ode!

I'd like you to write suing my reply as a prompt. Waiting. Impatiently.
 
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cowsgomoo
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« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2011, 08:28:27 PM »


This made my day so much better! I would say something to critique it, but it made me laugh so much I have nothing to critique! Also, for the record it is a beautifully made piece as well.  I feel the passion in the writing, when you write the lines of desire and emotion.  They appeal to me, while I am not a gay man I see the passion.  Which is written wonderfully.  Sadly I have never been a real big romance buff, of any form.  I wish I could critique this better but that is the best I have.  I apologize if it was not enough!
« Last Edit: May 09, 2011, 08:52:22 PM by cowsgomoo » Logged
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