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[paulfclayton]

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Pitch black, darkest night
Evil creature, ungodly and cold
Eyes burning fierce and bright
A village shamed, A tale untold

A stranger to the light of day
Strands of flesh of pure on stone
Prayers to ward the beast away
And hopes the chaste will reach their home

No sacrificial rites
No motive more than blood
No remorse, no compassion
Amid the howling in the wood

Shifting shape at night
Bolts and latches on all doors
To thrive on fear and fright
To stalk his prey on fours

At the heart of this vile creature
Lives a tortured soul alone
A single silver bullet
Will guide his spirit home

[Vincent Turner]

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Your poems seem to be very similar in tone and ideas.

as Jen pointed out in previous posts be careful with forced rhymes they add nothing to the poem.

your work is certainly different from much we have here, and that's a good thing, I would however be interested to see if you have any poems that are different in theme/tone/mood, and also without the forced rhymes.

Lastly, could you make an effort to critique/comment on other writers work here, this site, is not merely here from showcasing one's work, and it a great way to workshop, and this can only happen if the writers here take the time to assist others in their work.

Best regards

Vincent

[paulfclayton]

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Once I've found my feet here, I will glady comment on work I admire
though I don't feel I'm qualified to offer critique
I'm a firm believer that the only rules to any form of art are those set
by the artist himself / herself
If the artist has enjoyed creating . . .  objective achieved !
If people like the artist's creation . . .  bonus !
If people dislike the artist's work . . .  irrelevant !
The artist's inability to conform is what makes them unique

Paul  :)

[Vincent Turner]

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I'm a firm believer that the only rules to any form of art are those set
by the artist himself / herself
If the artist has enjoyed creating . . .  objective achieved !
If people like the artist's creation . . .  bonus !
If people dislike the artist's work . . .  irrelevant !
The artist's inability to conform is what makes them unique

........... and yet you post your work here!

though I don't feel I'm qualified to offer critique

I am interested in what you consider makes someone qualified to critique the work of others. Have you ever watched a film and expressed an opinion afterwards???

Best Regards

Vincent

[paulfclayton]

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yes . . .  i post my work here
for people to enjoy . . .  or not as the case may be
And as i said . . .  if i admire someones work
I will say so . . .  gladly
Are you suggesting that is wrong of me and that I
shouldn't be here?
I'm not here to debate if i'm welcome or not
i'm here to enjoy poetry and share poetry
If that's not the way of things here I shall
take my leave

Paul

[Vincent Turner]

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Hi Paul

Are you suggesting that is wrong of me and that I
shouldn't be here?

No, I am not.

i post my work here
for people to enjoy . . .  or not as the case may be

Whether I like the poem or not is irrelevant, I took the time to offer some feedback there are poems here that I do not "enjoy" but I still might be provoked, or inclined to comment/critique them.

 

if i admire someones work
I will say so . . .  gladly

You don't have to do that here, A poet who wishes to improve  their craft would much prefer, a half decent critique of their work, than someone saying " I like that its good"

Of course you are welcome here, its not my place to say you are not, that is down to you and how you feel about it here, I can assure you, that if you are interested in improving your craft THIS IS THE PLACE TO BE, I have been to, and left quite quickly, many poetry sites, but this one sucked me in, and has been the main ingredient in helping me to improve my work.

Stick around or don't, its your choice, but as I mentioned, your work is interesting, and offers something  different, so to may be the case in your critiques etc..

Best Regards

Vincent

[paulfclayton]

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Thank you Vincent.  I appreciate the feedback.  Some rather good points. 
Paul

[Vincent Turner]

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Thank you Vincent.  I appreciate the feedback.  Some rather good points. 
Paul

No problem.

Its good to talk!!!

Best Regards

Vincent

[Jenifer]

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Yah we really aren't worried about someone's ability here in regard to critique.  It's just nice to get feedback on work.  Feedback is helpful no matter what.  You can say what you liked or did not like about a piece... what interested you... etc.  As you critique, you get better at critique.  That's what is cool about it. 

Jen