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22086 Posts in 2156 Topics- by 216 Members - Latest Member: TrudaHannah

May, 23, 2012 - Loading...
LiteraryMaryWriting and Random Creativity Workshops Poetry and LyricsTumble-Weed Street
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Author Topic: Tumble-Weed Street  (Read 176 times)
Vincent Turner
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« on: April 26, 2011, 04:50:21 PM »


Returning to the street where I grew,
once heaving houses seem sworn
to a hush and curtain drawn.
(like in a western, when the gun
toting, horse riding, bully saunters
with the dust into town)
Pert bushes trimmed to precision
lined the yards of old friends,
our summers landscaped away,
replaced by exquisite coloured flowers
and extended crack- proof driveways.

Where once every window seeped
a percussion of jaunty living-
the cymbal clang of children laughing,
throbbed gong of fathers scolding,
then later the glass harp melodies
Of mothers reassuring-
now but plays talk radio
and baritone Hoovers solos.

Sadder than any human song
is the vacancy of youth’s expression.
Of tree climbing, snot nosed louts
dangling above toy scattered lawns.
Now, not so much as a petal out of place.
Front-yard cars gleam an eerie clean.
Chocolate smudged prints
On Sunday afternoon football muddied glass-
Mere memories of old living.

Winter-bare trees
recall grey slate evenings
when work released fathers
wrestled with the boys in the snow
as wistful mothers watched
from steamed kitchen windows
contemplating the well-ordered,
perfect hedged life ahead.

Some artefacts stubbornly remain.
Tony loves Lisa etched on an alleyway wall,
two loose-roof slates dislodged by a stray
cricket ball: loyal bastions of youth.

Yet approaching the streets end
two lovers expecting child
inspect a “For Sale”.
Hand in hand
they survey the jungle of lawn
conferring where little Richards
swing could go.
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“Human misery must somewhere have a stop; there is no wind that always blows a storm”.

Euripides
 
Jenifer
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« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2011, 10:02:36 PM »


Vincent,

This one isn't quite doing it for me.  The pace is slow for its length.  It's heavy with adjectives.

I want something to pull me in... something to make me wonder... some sense of wonder...

Jen
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Vincent Turner
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« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2011, 05:01:55 AM »




Thanks for the input Jen, my intentions were to maintain a steady, slow pace throughout the poem, to reflect the linger of my step as I walked down the street of my youth- I do agree with you about the heavy adjectives in this poem, and I may need to strip some of this away.

Hope all is well

Vincent
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“Human misery must somewhere have a stop; there is no wind that always blows a storm”.

Euripides
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