I recently came home from an extended trip to the orgy fields of Guandong to find a few unanswered questions on my cyber doormat. I hate to leave questions unanswered, so I plan to answer some of them for you over the next few days, weeks, years. If anyone has any questions of their own, please feel free to post them up.
Little Tom from Dallas, Texas, wrote:
I'm trying to write a sex scene into my novel, but I can't find the best way to express a girls first experience with her boyfriend. Any tips?Dear Little Tom
Sex scenes, like reality, can be messy, awkward, dirty affairs. Forget the beauty that so many authors try to convey; instead, try doing what I call method-writing. This involves becoming part of the scene.
Now, depending on whose perspective you are writing the scene from, you either need to find yourself a virgin, a wig, or a willing couple who you can observe. Then, to heighten your artistic senses, I would rub a mixture of vaseline and spermicide onto your face and hands, and put a copy of a Bjork album on the stereo. The hard part, of course, will be putting pen to paper when it all gets messy, so I'd suggest finding a good waterproof pad and pen (preferably wipe clean).
Whilst the sloshing and slurping is taking place, be sure to question the participant/s motivation and thoughts/feelings; encourage them to sniff, taste, and touch, to ensure you have all the necessary research material for your scene.
I remember Graham Greene saying to me once,
"If you are going to take a typewriter to bed with you, ensure your wife has a sturdy back". A master of method-writing, Greene was known to have thrown himself down over a hundred sets of stairs, in order to find the right set for a novel he was working on (but never finished due to the lift being invented). You see, the old adage 'write what you know' is limited only by your willingness to get involved. Get out there Little Tom: fly a plane, crash it, have sex with the dead pilot, live feral on the remote island you've crashed on, realize the remote island is in fact Ireland, discover Guinness, fly a plane, crash it, realize you're impotent and can't have sex with the dead air hostess, live feral on the island you've crashed on, realize the remote island is in fact an insane asylum...ad nauseum.
Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, that sex scene. So, Little Tom, plenty of lube, willing friends, and a girl with a sturdy back. Please remember to make a video and send it to my PO Box address, to ensure we keep a log of how successful Method-Writing can be.
Yours sincerely
Mary
